March 11, 2025
Loving Your Pet Like Family—While Respecting Their Animal Needs
Should You Treat Your Pet Like a Child? A Veterinary Psychiatrist on Finding the Right Balance for a Happy, Healthy Pet
I used to worry about people who consider their pets their “children”. Was treating them like humans harming them? Were they making them anxious or frustrated by expecting them to be something they’re not?
I still worry a little, but this episode helped me (and hopefully you!) understand how to find a balance that meets both your needs and your pet’s, so you can truly live happily ever after.
Veterinary psychiatrist Dr. Rachel Malamed joins me to break down:
🔹 Why treating pets like family isn’t the problem—misunderstanding their needs is
🔹 How to respect your pet as an individual rather than forcing them to fit your expectations—or those of friends and family
🔹 How we often misread pet body language (wagging tails ≠ happiness!)
🔹 Why forcing pets outside their comfort zones can backfire
🔹 The real connection between emotional and physical well-being in pets
🔹 How to enrich their lives in ways that truly fulfill them—not just ourselves
This episode will challenge the way you think about your relationship with your pet—and help you build a stronger, healthier bond based on understanding, not assumptions.
📢 Love this episode? Share it with a fellow pet parent and help more animals live their best lives!
To learn more about Dr. Malamed and the resources she shared in the episode, here are some great links:
Join Dr. Malamed's Pet Psychiatry Hub Pre-Launch Waitlist
American College of Veterinary Behaviorists
Connect with Us
✅ Subscribe to Muddy Paws and Hairballs for more practical advice for real pet parents.
✅ Share this episode with other pet parents to help them live their very best lives with their pets!
We Want to Hear From You!
Your thoughts and experiences matter to us. What’s one thing you’ve learned from this episode that you’re excited to try with your pet? Or, do you have a question or topic you'd like us to cover in a future episode? Leave a review or comment—your feedback helps us create content that truly resonates with you!
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CONTACT: Amy@StarlightPetTalk.com
Thanks for listening to Muddy Paws and Hairballs, your go-to resource for all things pet care. From dog training, behavior, and socialization to cat enrichment, pet adoption, and tackling behavior problems, we provide expert advice and real talk to help you create a happy, healthy life with your pets. Whether you're dealing with dog anxiety, looking for puppy training tips, or exploring enrichment ideas for your cat, we've got you covered. Be sure to check out all our episodes!
Chapters
00:00 - Rethinking Pet Happiness
03:36 - Understanding Veterinary Psychiatry
09:00 - Species-Specific Needs and Behaviors
14:20 - Canine Body Language Misunderstandings
22:26 - The Myth of "Socializing" Through Flooding
29:26 - Medical Issues Behind Behavioral Problems
35:36 - The Guilt Myth and Anthropomorphism
40:36 - Finding Balance in Pet Parenting
Transcript
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Think you're giving your pets the best life just because you shower them with treats, cuddles and cozy beds.
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What if I told you that what your pet truly needs goes beyond pampering?
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One of the reasons we rebranded this show as Muddy Paws and Hairballs is to highlight a simple truth Look, dogs need to be dogs and cats need to be cats.
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So in today's episode, we're diving into what really makes pets happy and mentally healthy, and it's not always what we think.
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You'll hear from a veterinary psychiatrist with nearly two decades of experience as we explore how to truly respect our pets for the animals that they are, rather than treating them like human babies.
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If you want a happier, more balanced pet, you're not going to want to miss this conversation.
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Stay tuned, that's right.
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There is so much more to giving your pets a great life than just spoiling them with treats and cozy beds.
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Welcome to Muddy Paws and Hairballs, the podcast.
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That's all about embracing pets for the animals they truly are.
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I'm Amy Castro and today I'm joined by Dr Rachel Malamed, a veterinary psychiatrist with 18 years of experience and one of only about 100 specialists who are board certified by the American College of Veterinary Behaviorists.
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She earned her Doctor of Veterinary Medicine from the Ontario Veterinary College in 2005 before moving from Toronto to Los Angeles, where she completed an internship at a specialty and emergency veterinary hospital, followed by three years residency in clinical behavior medicine at UC Davis.
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Dr Malamed owns a veterinary psychiatry practice in Los Angeles that is dedicated to the physical and emotional well-being of pets.
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She also serves as a forensic expert witness in legal cases involving animal behavior and has contributed to several leading behavior medicine books, including Decoding your Cat.
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So, dr Malamed, welcome to the show.
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Thank you for having me.
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I appreciate you making the time to do this because, as I said to you in the quote unquote green room before we got started, that I was a bit on a tear when I decided I wanted to do an episode on this subject, and maybe it's just because I'm old and can't relate and I love my pets.
00:02:02.521 --> 00:02:24.388
I don't want anyone to think that I don't love my pets and that I don't care for them as if they're family, but I had been reading a lot of things about people who really treat their pets like they would treat human children and some of the problems that can arise from doing that, and I think maybe I blew it up bigger in my head and I thought we're going to do this episode and we're going to tell them all they're wrong and they're stupid and they need to do this.
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And you were so nice and kind when we had our first conversation and you're like, well, hold on a minute here.
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You know, if there's no harm happening, then there's no harm happening.
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And so I was glad to have that conversation because it allowed me to kind of rein in this episode, to finding a little more balance, because I think everybody's objective in the end is just doing the best for their pet and loving them, right, right, I love this topic.
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So, yeah, thank you.
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No, yeah, good, and I'm glad.
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Yeah, I think it's just something that's important for people to hear both sides of things.
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You know, maybe people could be doing a little bit better and giving their pets what they need and, you know, maybe putting a little less pressure on themselves even to try to live up to some standard that they think that they have to have for caring for their pets.
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So what exactly does a veterinary behaviorist or a veterinary psychiatrist do?
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So we are veterinarians first and foremost and then we've gone on to do another three years of veterinary residency training in the field of clinical behavioral medicine.
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We're like psychiatrists for animals and we pass a two-day rigorous examination to become board certified by the American College of Veterinary Behaviorists.
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So in addition to being able to diagnose and treat medical issues that contribute to behavior changes or behaviors in general, we have extensive knowledge and expertise in advanced learning theory, behavior modification techniques, normal abnormal behavior, psychopharmacology and use of those medications.
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We kind of put everything together to address the physical and the emotional and mental needs of the pet and try to figure out what is causing that behavior or motivating that behavior.
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And we're looking at the whole pet, not just the physical and not just the behavioral, but everything together.
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So and we're lumping in a bunch of different things dogs, cats and pets in general.
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But I always have this thinking process along the lines of as an animal it has certain needs, a certain species has certain needs, certain breeds have certain needs, and so if you kind of look at that as an umbrella thing, you know, dogs versus cats, let's say, do they have different psychological needs?
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Yeah, I mean they're fundamentally different in terms of their social structures and their communication styles and species specific behaviors and instinctual behaviors.
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They've sort of adapted in different ways and so we have to understand these differences, of course, to provide them with the appropriate enrichment and training and care that align with their natural tendencies and how they communicate, their body language, their socialization, all of those species differences hadn't really thought about that previously.
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I kind of lumped my pets as my pets and they're living in my house and you know, my, my cats are only indoors.
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So there's a certain element to that.
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But I never really thought about their enrichment until I started doing the show really, and and doing rescue, you know, thinking about their enrichment needs.
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Even my darn dogs, like I kind of figured, okay, we've got a big piece of property.
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I opened the back door, they go outside, they run around, and it wasn't until I started diving into this subject and we've talked before on the show about enrichment and just a simple change.
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Like recently, I have been taking them out in the front yard, which is also fenced, but it's just normally.
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I just let them out back, let them do their thing.
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But in the evenings we've started going out front and you would think that I was taking them to Disney World.
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For goodness sakes.
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It's almost like food time.
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They get all antsy, everybody's over by the front door and I think it's just different place, different smells, and I just never really thought about their well-being from that standpoint.
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I thought, ok, I love them, I'm caring for them, I'm feeding them, but there's more to it than that, right?
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Yeah, I mean they have.
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I mean cats in particular.
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Well, dogs and cats, but you know, they need to hunt, they need to forage, they need to climb, they need to perch, they need to hide, they need to do all of these things and adding complexity to their environment and thinking about the function of the enrichment that we're providing, it's actually providing a need that they have to perform these species-specific behaviors.
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And so when you let your dog into the backyard to sniff or run or fetch or whatever they're doing, it's a need that they have.
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And when we don't provide suitable enrichment opportunities or opportunities for animals to express their species-specific or innate behaviors, that's when we start to have challenges or problematic behaviors to the pet parent.
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Perhaps the behavior itself is functional and normal for the animal, but from the person's point of view, and sometimes those behaviors are completely normal adaptations but because the animal hasn't been provided with those appropriate opportunities or suitable outlets, we start to see other expressions that are not acceptable to the human.
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Like what would be an example of that, like the first thing that comes to mind as somebody who I do a lot of dog introductions with.
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You know, we've got a rescue dog and we're trying to introduce it to the people's dog and you just see people like their dogs interact in the store and what do dogs do?
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Right?
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They go right to the other dog, butt and sniff and they're all up in there, right, and the people are like no, no, don't do that.
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And I'm like that's what they're supposed to do.
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And that's just one example.
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Is it harmful if people don't allow their dog to do that?
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Just?
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as an example, to greet another dog in that way.
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Well, I mean, that's just their natural behavior.
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So I think that putting our human expectations and obviously you know, I think a lot about how humans greet dogs as an example the way that we approach animals is really a human paradigm and we do what's natural to us.
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For example, like you know, it's natural when you meet another human, especially in a professional environment, like you would reach out your hand, shake their hand, or perhaps you know when you're having guests come over, you will give them a hug or whatever that is.
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But for you know, when you greet an animal, that could be perceived as a threat.
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But you know, we commonly hug animals and pet animals and reach for animals and approach them head on and make direct eye contact, and in fact those are all things that are very frequently.
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Dogs can become very aggressive or defensive, and sometimes they can.
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They can bite, and and then of course, we sometimes get upset by the fact that they've expressed that normal behavior to a threat.
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Right, that behavior has a function, which is to usually to increase distance from something that is threatening.
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So I think the point being is that the way that we think about greeting a dog is probably very different than how they would like to be greeted greeting a dog is probably very different than how they would like to be greeted.
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Yeah, you know as kind of an offshoot of that.
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As far as the response to that is having the expectation that your dog should allow those types of things.
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When it makes them uncomfortable too, it's like you know it's.
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It's not a human well and even with human kids.
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You know now that I get ready to have the words come out of my mouth.
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It's like if your kid is not comfortable hugging rando strangers, then you shouldn't force that, because there's a whole thing behind that about you know having their own boundaries respected as they grow in age and possibly opening them up to being abused in some way by people because they've been told they have to allow people that they don't want touching them.
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Touch them Because they've been told they have to allow people that they don't want touching them touch them, and I think that's sort of the.
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I mean, I would think that's sort of the same thing with dogs is that we need to learn to respect our dog's boundaries and to encourage other people to do so too another podcast.
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But you know we talk about consent and watching for body language and signs like is the animal approaching us, soliciting attention or affection, or is it showing signs that it's moving away or doesn't want to be touched or interacted with?
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So we look for signs of consent and obviously animals communicate differently than humans.
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They use vocalizations and body language and we have to learn to read that in order to know whether they feel uncomfortable or whether they're fearful or anxious or defensive or stressed or whatnot.
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So I think that's very important that sometimes people are well-meaning in their intentions and they assume that dogs like to be pet or they want to be approached, and cats too, but they don't.
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I think they may not have the awareness and that's really important to start there becoming aware of what is normal canine and feline body language and communication and interpreting their signals in a way that you know we can respond appropriately signals in a way that you know we can respond appropriately.
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Yeah, I think I used to volunteer at an animal control facility and there was a shocking lack of knowledge, and I'm certainly no animal body language experts.
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But I have done research and I have learned a few things along the way and it was amazing to me how an animal would be labeled aggressive for exhibiting what should be a normal natural tendency or behavior based on the fact that you've got some you know six foot man that you don't know, that's coming into your cage like this, over the top of your head, reaching for you.
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It's like you know, only the very best natured and very you know, maybe massively handled animal who's experienced that discomfort and gotten over it, maybe through its lifetime, is going to put up with that.
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Other than that, they're going to respond with a fear response or a fearful aggression, and one of the tricky things I think is trying to get people to respect those boundaries.
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When I'm doing introductions with a maybe a shyer dog, I find that people want to talk.
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They talk so much they just run in their mouths and it's like the dog's already scared.
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Now you're this loud human being and you're moving like this, with your arms moving and you're talking at this high volume and then you're bending over in their face.
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It's like why can't we just shut up and be quiet, let the dog come to you?
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And it's just.
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I think people like you said, their intentions are good and they're excited and they're trying to win that animal over, but they're doing all the wrong things, or they could be doing all the wrong things, depending upon the animal.
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Right.
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And then what happens is the animals start to hide their warning signs.
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So a growl is a communication like I'm not comfortable with that or you're threatening, move away from me, or maybe the dog moves its body away, or whatever the signal is.
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But if we persist in approaching the dog who just growled or handling the dog who just growled, that growl is going to very quickly turn into a bite and next time it's going to happen a lot faster.
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So that's you know where the role of practice and experience and learning comes into play.
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And when there's repeated negative experiences, the humans that don't respect or understand dog body language or cat body language, those warning signs progress.
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Body language or cat body language, those warning signs progress.
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And that's where we have problems increased severity.
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And then they come to see me yeah, there you go Right, cause they've had a problem.
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They've had a problem or a bad experience.
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And it's interesting too, because people, because their knowledge is so limited, because I've had people say, well, oh, I didn't get any warning, he didn't growl, he didn't do this, or his tail was wagging, and it's like okay, there's a big difference between a tail wag and a tail wag, you know, when it comes to a dog and there are other signs and we don't.
00:14:07.619 --> 00:14:17.172
I don't want to turn this into a body language class, but one thing I think you know for everybody that's listening that has a dog, is do some research on what some of those body language elements would be that your animal is not comfortable.
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Things like lip licking or the way that their eyes are rolled in their head and yawning, things like that can all be indications of discomfort and you're just thinking that your dog's licking its lips because its lips are dry.
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Yeah, and it's the context too that you're looking at the whole body in the big picture, but also the subtleties.
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And I'm so glad that you mentioned the wagging the tail.
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That's a big misconception and I have to point it out because the more people that I can explain this to, the better.
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But the wagging tail always the misconception is that it means happy, that the dog is happy and it wants to interact, and it doesn't mean that.
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So it can mean that.
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It can mean that a dog is willing to engage in a friendly manner and you kind of look at the whole body, is it, is it wiggly, is it like you can?
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But it doesn't always mean that the dog is happy and relaxed.
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It could also mean that the dog is aroused or aggressive.
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You know where you have the stiff, high wagging tail.
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It can actually be a sign of agitation.
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So we have to be careful with that.
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I hear it all the time.
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Oh, the dog looked friendly, so I approached it was wagging its tail, and then we know what happens next.
00:15:29.533 --> 00:15:52.116
Yeah Well and I think you know you made a good point too, because you know I, as somebody that teaches humans communication, body language is a huge part of our communication too, and we all know you can tell when somebody's got a fake smile on their face or they smile because they've been trained that that's the polite thing to do, but nothing else about their body language or their tone of voice or anything else is saying I want to interact with you.
00:15:52.116 --> 00:16:00.534
Then usually we believe the big picture more than just that one thing and I think we need to look at that with our dogs and our cats as well it's knowing the signs.
00:16:00.534 --> 00:16:04.789
And also you know how much of it comes down to beyond species.
00:16:04.789 --> 00:16:09.365
Individual personality of the pet or does breed play into some of that as well?
00:16:09.645 --> 00:16:12.412
Yeah, I mean it's behaviors, multifactorial.
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It's.
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Breed does play a role in.
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Genetics plays a role, environment plays a role, learning, early socialization or lack thereof, and also potential medical issues underlying pain or discomfort or abnormality.
00:16:26.778 --> 00:16:29.792
So some behaviors are maladaptive or they're abnormal.
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Each animal is an individual, just like humans are all individuals, and they may have certain predispositions that we definitely need to take into consideration that influence their behavior.
00:16:41.539 --> 00:16:48.611
But there's so much more to it than just breed alone and behavior is very fluid too.
00:16:48.611 --> 00:16:59.719
Like you know, behaviors change over time and depending on the external trigger or environment, learning and also the internal states of the animal.
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So there's a lot.
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It's very complex.
00:17:03.971 --> 00:17:06.035
Yeah, I've seen that a lot with my bulldog.
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She's probably nine now and earlier on, you know, several years ago, because we run a rescue and we have a ton of different animals that come through this house, from, you know, little baby kittens to various dogs, and she has definitely become less tolerant.
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I don't know if it's because I know she does have a bad knee, I know she does have bad hips, so she's gotten older, but she used to be so tolerant.
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Now she's very growly towards anybody that's bothering her too much, or kittens that are trying to climb on her, and it's doesn't feel all that great and she doesn't want to put up with their BS.
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You know, like she's just kind of done and so I don't force her.
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And that's where I think people get into trouble is they were, like you know, to tell her no, you're being bad, you know, and to make her put up with that.
00:17:48.403 --> 00:18:09.063
You were talking about the signs and things and it's like we see these videos all over the Internet and, again, I'm no body language expert for dogs but I can say, oh, that dog's getting ready to, and then the next thing that happens is the person gets bitten in the face and these videos of people that are letting their kids climb on the dog and use it as a you know and pulling on the ears and look how good he is.
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It's like he shouldn't have to be.
00:18:10.384 --> 00:18:15.008
It's just going to be a matter of time when he's decided he's had it and then it's going to be his yeah.
00:18:15.028 --> 00:18:16.548
He's had it and then it's going to be his fault.
00:18:16.568 --> 00:18:27.758
Yeah, that makes me cringe when I see, you know, photos of babies climbing on dogs and I hear remarks, you know, I want a dog who will let my child do anything to it.
00:18:27.758 --> 00:18:36.749
And that's not realistic because at the end of the day, they're animals, they feel pain, they feel stress and children.
00:18:36.749 --> 00:18:39.086
They treat animals as peers and they don't.
00:18:39.086 --> 00:18:48.116
They're not expected to know, and even parents they're not expected to know or they don't know normal body language or how to read those signals all the time.
00:18:48.116 --> 00:19:17.738
And when you have children flailing around or toddler age running, they're unpredictable and they wrap their arms around the dog or kiss the dog on the face and you can clearly see in these photos all too often that you know they're exhibiting whale eye, their ears are back, they're like, they're tense, and it just makes me makes me cringe, and I am also a forensic expert witness for legal cases, so I've seen a lot of things that I really wish I had never seen.
00:19:17.738 --> 00:19:21.315
So I think that's a really important point to make.
00:19:22.204 --> 00:19:28.316
Yeah, and you feel bad for the family or the parents when that happens, but at the same time, you created that scenario and allowed it to happen.
00:19:28.316 --> 00:19:29.770
They just they didn't know any better.
00:19:29.770 --> 00:19:31.411
But you need to do your homework.
00:19:31.411 --> 00:19:40.630
We did an episode about choosing the right dog for you and it's like you know you're basically you're inviting this animal to live with you for 15 years.
00:19:40.630 --> 00:19:51.835
You probably do more homework on the shoes that you buy than the dog that you bring home, just because it was allowing certain things or certain things flew when it was a puppy and it couldn't you know, it didn't know any better.
00:19:51.835 --> 00:19:59.913
And then it comes to adulthood or hits those teen years and it's a whole different ball of wax, and so you really need to know what you're doing.
00:20:00.454 --> 00:20:03.339
Yeah, and it also comes down to expectations Like what?
00:20:03.339 --> 00:20:05.028
What's your reason for getting a pet?
00:20:05.028 --> 00:20:08.938
Is it companionship, is it for show, as a show dog?
00:20:08.938 --> 00:20:12.031
And sometimes our expectations don't align.
00:20:12.031 --> 00:20:29.269
It's sort of the typical example would be selecting a large breed animal and when you live in an apartment and you can't necessarily like, if you can get the dog out for appropriate exercise and give it what it means daily, that's acceptable.
00:20:29.269 --> 00:20:40.988
But if you can't, you shift your perspective to like a smaller breed dog that doesn't require as much exercise or can express its behaviors more easily and in that environment.
00:20:40.988 --> 00:20:53.727
So I think it also comes down to finding the right fit and having realistic expectations and also what understanding, what the goal is for having a pet and if you can provide from the outset.
00:20:54.628 --> 00:20:54.848
Yeah.
00:20:54.848 --> 00:21:05.089
So I highly encourage if that's ringing a bell with anybody for people to go back and check out that episode on how to choose the right dog for you, because we talked all about that in depth and it is so important.
00:21:05.089 --> 00:21:08.165
You know people, people are swayed by what they see in a movie.
00:21:08.165 --> 00:21:09.308
Or what does my neighbor have?
00:21:09.308 --> 00:21:10.571
What's the hot thing now?
00:21:10.571 --> 00:21:13.145
You know, french bulldog doodle, whatever it might be.
00:21:13.145 --> 00:21:15.931
I mean, I almost cringe when I see movies come out.
00:21:15.971 --> 00:21:27.353
There was a movie that came out a while back that had a military working dog, a Malinois, and I thought, good Lord, please don't let everybody go out and start getting Mals, because that is not a dog for everybody.
00:21:27.353 --> 00:21:34.377
It needs a lot and most people don't have the time or energy to give a Mal what it needs.
00:21:34.377 --> 00:21:52.549
So, along those same lines as trying to get an animal like a dog and I will be the first one to admit that I have done a terrible job getting my dogs out and about taking them to events, so when they go out they act like idiots, they get all overwrought and drooling and just overly excited.
00:21:52.549 --> 00:21:56.708
I have four dogs, so a couple of them I might take to, let's say, a big dog event.
00:21:56.708 --> 00:22:02.058
You know, super cute thing in Golden, colorado recently where it was like golden retrievers everywhere.
00:22:02.058 --> 00:22:03.692
I was like what could be better than that?
00:22:03.692 --> 00:22:07.675
But you know, some dogs can handle prime time like that and some can't.
00:22:07.675 --> 00:22:21.814
And so part of my hang up, I guess, about this whole anthropomorphizing of pets is when you think this is my child, this is my family member, is when you think this is my child, this is my family member, and as a family we're going to this event.
00:22:21.814 --> 00:22:23.500
But maybe the event is not the appropriate environment.
00:22:23.882 --> 00:22:28.777
I went to one, probably about a year or so, I won't name it because it was a lovely event and it was very well organized.
00:22:28.777 --> 00:22:49.570
But as I'm sitting there watching potential disaster upon potential disaster upon potential disaster, because there are some dogs that are just not going to do well in an environment like that and the owner's oblivious, you know they're, they're drinking their beer, they're talking with the other person, the dog's on a flexi leash, 50 feet behind them and I'm thinking someone's going to die.
00:22:49.570 --> 00:22:59.135
So what do we think about, you know, as far as you know, wanting to bring our pets everywhere or to have them adapt to our schedules, like I'm going to go out with friends for a beer at 10 o'clock at night.
00:22:59.135 --> 00:23:00.397
Is it okay to do that?
00:23:00.397 --> 00:23:03.067
Should we leave them at home, like what's the right thing?
00:23:03.107 --> 00:23:03.489
to do.
00:23:03.489 --> 00:23:29.528
It depends on the animal right, and every animal is different and there are some dogs who are very social and do very well in environments where there's lots of people, and then there are dogs who are very triggered by that and are fearful or fear aggressive, with many different stimuli, whether it's noises, it's strangers, it's being in a confined environment.
00:23:29.528 --> 00:23:32.295
It's just a lot of unpredictable movement.
00:23:32.295 --> 00:23:54.248
And so one thing that has always, you know, been a big problem is when people are like you know what I need to socialize my dog and put them in these situations so that they'll get over their fears, and that's called flooding, and that type of exposure is usually makes things worse and it goes the other direction.
00:23:54.248 --> 00:24:06.576
And that's where we, like you said, that's where problems arise and it's sort of like, you know, if you were claustrophobic and you came over to my house and I stuffed you in a closet like you'd never want to come to my house again, that's not going to help you, right?
00:24:06.576 --> 00:24:08.606
Exactly, I would.
00:24:08.606 --> 00:24:25.115
I would never do that, but just as a silly example, yeah, you should be so paying attention to your animal and and trying to avoid those things that are triggering, and then work on them and if you recognize that there's an issue.
00:24:25.537 --> 00:24:44.451
And you know, obviously we all have our human needs and desires, but we have to keep in mind that that may not be what's best for the pet and some animals are happier at home and with maybe select individuals that are familiar to them and are predictable to them.
00:24:44.451 --> 00:24:46.877
And that's not to say you can't work on it.
00:24:46.877 --> 00:25:02.693
But there's a difference between exposure flooding in that way versus systematic and gradual desensitization and counter conditioning, which is basically like the meat and bones of changing a negative emotional response to a positive one.
00:25:02.693 --> 00:25:13.213
So if your cat is afraid of visitors, and you know, every time your visitor comes over, the tuna comes out and they learn to associate like, oh good, things happen, but it's on their terms.
00:25:13.213 --> 00:25:15.026
They can come out if they want to.
00:25:15.026 --> 00:25:16.628
It's not a party.
00:25:17.530 --> 00:25:30.832
So sometimes we have to adjust our lifestyle and environment to meet the pet's needs and other times we just need to recognize that it's okay to manage, it's okay to avoid certain things.
00:25:30.832 --> 00:25:32.655
We don't have to fix everything.
00:25:32.655 --> 00:25:50.224
Sometimes it's a matter of meeting our pets halfway and knowing that they're just like people in a way, like they have differences that sometimes we can help them to overcome through, you know, either changing our interactions or the environment, addressing any medical concerns.
00:25:50.224 --> 00:25:59.424
There's lots of things that we can do, but sometimes, you know, we reach a point where we have to meet them halfway you know, we reach a point where we have to meet them halfway.
00:26:00.785 --> 00:26:01.626
Well, I think everybody's safety.
00:26:01.626 --> 00:26:14.631
You know there's a, on many, many levels, wonderful six year old blind pit bull that I'm fostering for the last two years and it probably is going to end up being my dog because I've been struggling to find somebody that is an appropriate adopter, that can meet her halfway, kind of like what you said.
00:26:14.631 --> 00:26:35.897
She's already proven that taking her to, let's say, an adoption event I mean she's completely blind and so taking her to an adoption event where there is other dogs, which she's great with other dogs I mean we've got four dogs and three cats running around this house and she's fine with everybody, but it's in her environment, it's not in a random environment with random strangers, random voices coming at her from 50 different directions.
00:26:35.897 --> 00:26:43.268
She does not do well in those situations.
00:26:43.268 --> 00:26:45.913
She wouldn't do well at a party, and so it's like I need to find that person that is a hermit.
00:26:45.913 --> 00:26:48.358
No kids, no dogs, no kids, no dogs, you know.
00:26:48.720 --> 00:26:51.346
But but really just you know somebody that would be willing?
00:26:51.346 --> 00:27:01.353
Like when you have people, like we do, we have people come over, she's in her crate and most of the time time everybody else is in their crater outside and then gradually, one at a time, we meet.
00:27:01.353 --> 00:27:07.957
You know, we don't introduce her to the whole party of people and it's a process to help her adapt and get comfortable.
00:27:07.957 --> 00:27:09.009
And sometimes she does.
00:27:09.009 --> 00:27:15.391
And sometimes with certain people I can tell there's like this little low growl or she's just not comfortable and then she just goes back to the bedroom.
00:27:15.391 --> 00:27:15.853
It's fine.
00:27:15.853 --> 00:27:23.289
She doesn't have to be out with every single person.
00:27:23.289 --> 00:27:23.711
I figured that out.
00:27:23.731 --> 00:27:25.500
Instead of forcing the issue and then learning the hard way that it's not going to work.
00:27:25.500 --> 00:27:26.041
That's right, and then it's.
00:27:26.041 --> 00:27:28.090
You know the things that they don't have to do, right.
00:27:28.090 --> 00:27:35.192
Like, okay, yes, exercise is really important, but I have a number of patients who are absolutely terrified of going for walks.
00:27:35.192 --> 00:27:42.578
But the pet parent has been told you have to take your dog for a walk because exercise is a you know, it's a need that they have.
00:27:42.578 --> 00:27:49.019
And then you sort of have to have that conversation about okay, well, yes, exercise is very important.
00:27:49.098 --> 00:27:58.875
However, we have to take into consideration the fact that every time your dog goes out for a walk, they're afraid of noises, they're afraid of skateboards, they want to go home, they're petrified.
00:27:58.875 --> 00:28:02.977
So is this really what's best for this particular animal?
00:28:02.977 --> 00:28:11.032
And are there other ways that we can provide enrichment and exercise in an environment that is not so scary?
00:28:11.032 --> 00:28:13.231
And I think that there are.
00:28:13.231 --> 00:28:14.407
There are other.
00:28:14.407 --> 00:28:52.886
You know, sometimes it's difficult, there's no yard, so it can be challenging, but there's usually creative solutions to be able to provide that mental and physical enrichment and activity without putting these expectations on the animal, that they starts to disrupt the human animal bond and then it creates feelings of guilt because there's conflicting motivations for the pet parent, where they want to do what's best for their animal and they've been given different information, and that can be really hard.
00:28:53.688 --> 00:29:09.356
Forcing a shy child to go to a birthday party that they don't want to go to, and it's like yeah, I'm gonna go because I'm gonna look bad if you don't go to this party, and then the kid will prove to you how shy they are, and it's you know it's going to end up being a fiasco anyway.
00:29:09.457 --> 00:29:27.019
So and I would assume that obviously that would be something that if I had an animal like that and but and I wanted to work towards getting them out more or getting them around other people, that's where I would come and see you so that you can guide me in doing that the right way and not over what did you call it?
00:29:27.019 --> 00:29:29.386
Flooding them and then making the situation worse.
00:29:30.369 --> 00:29:31.192
Yes, exactly.
00:29:31.192 --> 00:29:45.806
And then I always tell I like to make this point in every single podcast or conversation that I have with pet parents or other professionals about the fact that physical and emotional well-being of animals is intertwined and intrinsically connected.
00:29:45.806 --> 00:30:02.628
So if an animal is showing signs of stress or any kind of behavioral issue aggression or marking behavior, unwanted urination there's so many medical conditions that are underlying behavioral issues and especially pain.
00:30:02.628 --> 00:30:17.411
There's studies that have shown that a large proportion of animals with behavioral issues have underlying pain, whether it's, you know, orthopedic issues, and even dogs with noise phobias, like you would never think they're in pain.
00:30:17.411 --> 00:30:20.018
So that's the first thing.
00:30:20.018 --> 00:30:27.240
It's not just about addressing their behavior with changing the environment or with desensitization and counter conditioning.
00:30:27.279 --> 00:30:32.480
Yes, you have to do often both right, you address the medical and the behavioral concurrently.
00:30:32.480 --> 00:30:47.472
But if there's a change in behavior in your animal, whether it's a younger or older animal, if there's something that's out of character, especially in older animals, we always want to make sure that we're ruling out underlying medical issues.
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